Reasons why I have trust issues.

There's nothing better than unwrapping a pop tart because you know that after the 3.14159265358 seconds it takes you to open the shiny foil wrapper, the delicious heaven-sent goodness that is a hot fudge sundae pop tart will be in your mouth.  You drool with anticipation at the thought of the perfectly frosted pastry dancing and flirting with your taste buds.  Eating a pop tart is pure happiness, and these are the moments I live for.

But I've come to discover that pop tarts aren't always what they seem to be.  On many different occasions, pop tarts have let me down.  They've broken my heart and have made me lose all hope for the future.  I think you guys know what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about those moments when you unwrap your pop tart only to find that half of it isn't even frosted.  There's nothing worse.  And this is just one of the reasons why I have trust issues.

Here are a few more:

1. Potato chip bags.  Honestly, what potato chip worker was like, "Hey, I have an idea!  We should make people believe they're buying a huge bag of chips but then pull the rug out from under them aka we're only gonna fill 1/100th of the bag with actual chips.  The rest will just be air and stuff."  And if that's not bad enough, what's even worse is that the rest of the potato chip workers agreed to this inhumane idea.  You would think that at least one of them would stick up for the rest of us poor souls and be like, "Hey, idk man, this is all sounding very Hitler/Voldemort to me."  But apparently not because here we are.  And even though I know in the deepest corner of my heart that when I buy a bag of chips there won't be enough in there to get me through my next Netflix episode, I still get really upset when I open the bag and it's all air.  I figured out how Jordin Sparks can breathe with no air: buy a bag of potato chips.
2. My iPhone's battery life.  Life is great when your battery is at 72%.  You're safe and secure, and you feel like you could conquer the world: you're invincible.  But you look at your phone a minute later and all of a sudden your battery is at 3%.  And you don't even know what happened.  If you can't trust your iPhone, than who can you trust?  Answer: NO ONE.
3. "Fun-sized."  I can't trust humanity knowing that there was someone out there who thought that "fun-sized" would be a good, descriptive name for a mini candy bar.  "Fun-sized" is such a lie because when it comes to candy bars, mini is not fun: mini is terrible.  You give mini candy bars to the people you hate, so yeah, "fun-sized" is a terrible name.  Something like "this isn't even worth the $3 you just paid for me" or "your parents only think you're worth this much" would be a much more accurate name for mini candy bars.
4. Pant sizes.  I go to one store and I'm a size two.  I go to another store and I'm a size 1,394.  I don't know who to believe.
5. Alarm clocks.  I can't even count how many times my alarm clock has failed to get me out of bed.  So if I wake up late and miss class, blame my alarm clock for not doing it's job.
6. The mirror/camera phenomenon.  Have you ever looked so good that you just have to take a picture?  The mirror is telling you you look super hot, but the camera is saying that you still look like your awkward seventh-grade self.  Which one do you trust?  The mirror or the camera?  Yeah, I don't know either, and this is why I usually just sit at home and eat nachos.
7. People who only order one thing at Taco Bell.  I'm sorry but if you go to Taco Bell and don't order at least three things, you must be from another planet.  Because it's humanly impossible to live an honest, fulfilled life and order only one thing off the menu.  It simply cannot be done.  So if I'm in line behind you, and you only order one thing, don't look at me like I'm the weird one when I start screaming, "GO HOME, TERRORIST." 
8. Nicholas Cage.  I don't understand why has he been allowed to be in any movie whatsoever.
9. The doctor.  Yeah, so I went to the doctor about a month ago, and she told me that I was 5'5".  And I literally almost died right then and there because I've spent my whole life thinking that I'm 5'6".  Life is a lie, the earth probably isn't even round, and I don't even know how to deal with it.
10. The "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" music video.  So I'm a really big Taylor Swift fan.  Like, really big.  But I'm finally coming out and saying that the music video for "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" is an embarrassment for us Swifties everywhere.  Like, I love Taylor Swift and everything, but I would rather watch "Party in the USA" than "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."  And that's really sad.  There's clearly no hope for the rest of us if someone as perfect as Taylor Swift can produce something as stupid as that music video.
11. Automatic paper towel dispensers.  Half the time they don't even work, and the other half of the time they only give you enough paper towel to dry the fingers of a midget.  Like sorry, but I'm gonna need more than an inch of paper towel to dry my hands well enough to use my iPhone.
12. People who have 200 likes on all of their profile pictures.  How do you have so many people who think you're worth liking on Facebook even when you don't look like that in real life?  
13. You can send snapchats to yourself.  There must be a conspiracy theory behind this.
14. The marshmallow to cereal ratio of Lucky Charms.  Only someone planning to take over the United States would allow there to be more cereal than marshmallows.  
15. There are people in this world who think that Superman is better than Batman.  These people should all be locked up somewhere so that they don't continue to ruin our gene pool.  Just kidding.  I don't support locking people up, but for real, Batman is way better than anyone else.