- Eating only the suggested serving size. The suggested serving size for Oreos is three cookies. I don't think I've ever only eaten three cookies. In my case, three rows, not cookies, would be a more accurate serving size.
- Quoting "Mean Girls." This is a talent that every human being except for me has. I can remember "She doesn't even go here" and "If you're from Africa, why are you white?" and that's about it. I should probably print off a page of "Mean Girls" quotes to reference but I'm too lazy and I actually don't care. Like at all.
- Being nice to engineering majors. I'm sorry but I hate engineers. Whether they're mechanical, biological, chemical, or whatever stupid kind of "-al" they are, they suck. They clog up my math classes and think they're so smart because they can say "centripetal acceleration." Spoiler alert, we can all say centripetal acceleration because we learned about it in HIGH SCHOOL. So no, you're not better than me because you're an engineering major. Stop acting like it. I hate these people so much that if someone tells me they're an engineering major I will literally gag and walk away to join my fellow math majors. Unlike the engineers, we actually know how to do math. As you can see, I'm really bad at being nice to these people, but hey, at least I can take a derivative.
- Partner cartwheels. My high school did "Hairspray" my senior year. I was Amber and therefore had to do a lot of partner dancing in the show. I was super excited about it until rehearsals actually started and I realized that my partner and I kinda sucked. Like a lot. Anyways, to make a long/painful/embarrassing story short, I can't do partner cartwheels. I'm pretty sure there's a Youtube video of me failing somewhere, but I'll let you guys look that up on your own. I'm not going to go that far out of my way to make fun of myself.
- Plotting 3-D graphs. I can't do it. I'm sorry. But math majors aren't supposed to be good drawers so that's my excuse and it helps me sleep at night.
- Waiting patiently for my pizza to be delivered. Every single time I order pizza I expect a super hot delivery boy to be at my door within the next five minutes. Okay, maybe more like the next twenty minutes, but come on. Making me wait longer than that is basically the equivalent of putting me in the same room with Batman and expecting me not to propose to him. It's cruel and inhumane.
- Online chess. I've tried so many times, but I can't even beat my computer on the beginner level.
- Working out. Lol, yeah.
- Geography. I suck pretty hard at geography. It's a little embarrassing, and I've gotten teased about it many times, but I'm over it. I've never gotten a cavity in my entire life so that makes up for it, right?
- Folding fitted sheets. It never seems to work out no matter how many times I follow along with this tutorial. I keep practicing, but nope, this old man can still fold them better than I can. I'm going to be the worst wife ever. No one's gonna even want to marry me, and I'll be both forever alone and unable to fold fitted sheets. Life sucks.
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